36 weeks, and nesting

May 26, 2011

So much to do!  Gotta buy Grabbels a baby book, and update all of Maggie’s photo albums, and and and and and…..

Except I’m the size of a house.  And very tired.

I feel like I’m running out of time very quickly.  At this point with Maggie, I only had 5 days of pregnancy left.  I doubt I will go that early with Grabby, but you never know.  I’m thinking he’ll be sometime between June 8 and June 15.  My nesting instinct and adrenaline has kicked in, and I’m filled with urgency to get things done.

I also suddenly feel tremendously heavy and draggy.  Granted, I gained 4 pounds in two weeks, but my pelvis is out of whack again, and my stomach is suddenly ENORMOUS.  At least my blood pressure has stayed totally normal and low, and I have had zero problems with swelling.  In fact, you can still see all the bones in my feet, and my ankles are svelte!  Quite a difference from this time two years ago with Maggs!

I had an ultrasound today to check his position (since the midwives haven’t been able to tell for sure) and also to check his size relative to dates.  To my considerable frustration, the ultrasound tech not only gave me a bit of a chastising tone about not having any ultrasounds done between week 20 and now (why on earth WOULD I get them done?  I’ve had an easy pregnancy!), but she also did a biofeedback test even though my midwife didn’t order one, AND showed Grabbels in 3D/4D (which initially I loved, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get — I wanted to see him for the first time when he was born, dammit, and this tech just totally ignored the fact that I may not have wanted her to show me those images), AND THEN had the audacity to tell me that I need weekly biofeedback tests now through the end of this pregnancy.  NO.  Just – NO.  He’s fine!  I’m fine!  Stop trying to railroad me into tests I don’t need, don’t want, and that make me feel like there’s something wrong, when NOTHING IS WRONG.  Now my insurance company will be charged for tests that nobody ordered, and eventually the cost will show up in my premiums.

The healthcare system – particularly the maternal care system – is so fucked up.  No wonder we have women getting unnecessary c-sections — you put fear into them by treating them like they’re ill or that their babies aren’t okay, when in truth, everything is totally fine.  Those seeds of doubt are sinister seeds indeed, because when a woman doesn’t trust her body, it becomes very hard to let go and just give birth.


All that being said — damn, Grabby has some squishy cheeks.  I can’t wait to snuggle him!  🙂



2 years

May 25, 2011

Two wonderful, amazing years with the best daughter in the world.

I love you so much, Maggie Rose.

– mama

33.5 weeks

May 7, 2011

I have been SO blessed with this pregnancy.

33 weeks – taken just after my bout with food poisoning!

I am SO much healthier this time around than I was with Maggie.  I have gained 25 pounds (okay, maybe 27), versus the at LEAST 50 I’d gained with Maggie at this point (I gained 80 total with her – GULP).  I have no swelling in my ankles and feet, no extra fluid in utero (which means I can feel every GIGANTIC kick that Grabby gives me to the ribs!), very little pelvic/hip pain, and I just generally feel well and whole and well-nourished.  I’ve taken much better care of myself this time – I get massages every few weeks, go to see my physical therapist to get my pelvis adjusted, and eat tons of protein and fresh fruits and veggies — I eat almost no pre-fab foods with additives and such.  (No diet coke, either.)  I spend lots of time stretching, squatting and on my feet, moving around and doing housework.  I feel confident that Grabby’s birth will be easy, too, and he’ll be a big, healthy boy.

I can’t wait until he’s here!!

I spent a good bit of time this morning in bed, just stroking my tum and communing with him.  The only regret I have about this pregnancy is that I’ve been so concerned with Maggie – how she’ll react to having a sibling, whether she’ll feel rejected, etc. – that I’ve had very little time or energy to concentrate on Grabby himself, the way I did with Mrs. Migglesworth.  So it was so nice to enjoy some peace and quiet, just talking to him and loving on him.  (Why yes, this was my day to sleep in while Matt watched Maggie.  Woohoo!)

He’s so much more active than Maggie was — or at least that’s my perception; the extra amniotic fluid may have muted her movements — and it’s really cool!  Even the midwife and nurse commented on how gigantic his movements were when I was in L&D last Saturday (thank you, dehydration and food poisoning!).  I wonder what he’ll be like – will he be a super physical baby?  Maggie’s always been focused on the verbal end of development; maybe he’ll be the exact opposite.  I dearly hope that he and Maggie become good friends, and if they’re very different, maybe that will help because there won’t be as much temptation to compete with one another.

Jeez – I still can’t believe it sometimes.  I’m having A SON!  Oh my heavens!  What a blessing!



Third trimester

March 21, 2011

Today is the first day of spring.  Grabbels is due on the first day of summer.  13 more weeks – give or take a few – to go!

26 weeks, 4 days, but let’s just call it third trimester, shall we?

Oh, baby boy — I feel so terrible for writing about my pregnancy with your big sister all the time, and never, ever ever writing here about you.   I’m sorry!  Believe me, it’s not for lack of thinking about you or loving you — it’s called Mama is short on time (finishing an intense 8-week course on Iraqi history next week), exhausted (thanks to you not letting me sleep – oh yes!  this is your fault!  :)), sick (with the cold and cough that will NOT go away), and just generally short on brain cells thanks to all of the above.

My pregnancy with Grabbels has been so different from my pregnancy with Maggie in pretty much all respects but these:   I’m carrying big, high and with the baby smack in my lungs.  I don’t remember getting Braxton Hicks very often with Maggs; with Grabbels, I have them all the time.  In fact, I had them so regularly and intensely back during week 23 (if I was doing anything other than lying down, I got them every 10 minutes – for about 24 hours) that I ended up going to the hospital to be checked out.  Luckily, everything looked fine — Grabbels was floating way up high, my cervix was high and tightly closed.  Thank GOD.  I love you, little boy, but no showing up for several weeks yet!

Unfortunately, the Braxton Hicks have made it really hard to get my exercise in.  I learned a lot from my experience with Maggie — being humongous and immobile at 8 months pregnant is no joke — so I’m doing my best to keep active, keep my weight down, and keep mobile.   Alas, my go-to form of exercise — taking Maggie and Mikey for a walk — has been largely unavailable to me lately, because I get strong contractions the minute I start pushing the stroller.  What I *can* do, however, is dance!

Me subbing at the last second for an injured dancer at Starlight Shimmy – street clothes!

At the Alf Laylah wa Laylah hafla on March 13, 2011 — two years to the day after my performance with Maggie!


ARG.  I really wanted to make this a longer post, but it’s 10 p.m. and thus time for BED.  See, this is what always happens when I try to write — time disappears, and sleep beckons.  Sigh.

Grabbels, I love you!  With any luck, I will be able to post again before giving birth to you.  🙂



It’s a . . . .

February 10, 2011

We had our 20-week scan on Friday.   Matt and Maggie had to leave the room because the ultrasound tech was a biyatch, but I wanted to find out the sex of our baby with Matt in the room.  Unfortunately, the surprise was ruined when the tech paused just as this showed up on the screen . . . .

Read the rest of this entry »

19 weeks

January 26, 2011

Picture actually from 18 weeks, or maybe 17.  I don’t remember.  It’s a BLUR, I tell you.

(My favorite part of this picture, in any event, is Maggie mugging for the mirror.)

I am so tired.  And hungry.  I’ve STILL only gained 6 pounds, though (although seriously, I’m beginning to think my scale is just lying, because there’s no way I’ve only gained six.  I swear I gained six pounds in the first 30 seconds of my pregnancy with Maggie). I guess I’m generally just more active this time around, and definitely more conscious of the fact that NO, you cannot just gleefully breastfeed all those preggie pounds off (unless you’re my sister Abbey and breastfeeding twins).

(I dropped 15 pounds without any effort whatsoever as soon as I STOPPED pumping milk for Maggie, however.)

(How many parentheticals can I use in one post?)

ANYhoodle, so yeah, I’m not using pregnancy as an excuse to eat my way through Giant.   All those pounds gained with reckless abandon must later be sweated off, slowly and painfully, whilst wearing two jogging bras and turning red-faced with exertion.

I’m finally really starting to feel Grabbels move around on a regular basis, which is awesome.  Those little squiggles are just too cool!   It’s sometimes hard to sit back and just enjoy this stage of pregnancy, because I’m so tied up in following a suddenly daredevil-ish Maggie around, trying to keep her from killing herself before the age of 2.  But every night, I curl up, rub my belly and say “hello” to my sweet Grabbels — and now she/he is really saying hello back.  🙂



Almost 17 weeks

January 9, 2011

Damn you, pelvic/lower back pain.  Damn you.

I thought I remembered having more energy by this point during my pregnancy with Maggie, but I just looked back through my archives and apparently I was still rather sluggish.  That makes me feel better, because LAWD, I have no energy right now (except in odd bursts).  I’m sure that hauling a 27-pound toddler around ain’t helping matters any — and Maggie wants to be carried EVERYWHERE right now.  Arg.

I am definitely nesting, though — I’m all in a fever to get the house remodeled and ish so that we have more space for Grabbels.  Let’s get some built-in bookshelves going!  New, more compact kitchen table!  And let’s not forget my sudden urge to get a minivan.

Grabbels is definitely moving around and making himself known (“him” is my guess — we won’t know for a few more weeks), although again, I swear that Maggie was more active.   My memory ain’t shit these days, though!

Anyway, fatigued and signing out.


Poor Grabbels.

December 27, 2010

Back when I was pregnant with Maggie, I thought about her constantly – wondering what type of person she’d be, wondering what she’d look like, marveling at her movements.  Now, I barely have time to remember that I’m pregnant, let alone ponder the miracle of the new little person inside of me.

So, I’m 14 weeks.  Ish.  If it weren’t for the calendar on the wall, where I wrote down my week-by-week gestation back in September, I probably would have no clue how far along I am.   I’m pretty sure I’m feeling little Grabbels moving around in utero, but it’s still very faint and sporadic.  I think Grabbels is gonna be a very different baby than Maggie — when I had my first trimester ultra-screen a few weeks ago, the tech could hardly get the measurements because Grabbels refused to move into proper position.  In fact, he/she didn’t move much at all – just a stretch here and there, and then back to sleep.  It was SO different than my ultra-screen with Maggie, where the tech ALSO could hardly get the measurements, but it was because Maggie was bouncing!  around!  all over the place!

This pregnancy has been different in other ways as well — I’ve barely gained any weight (maybe 3 pounds), and I can still wear one pair of regular, button-up jeans (fully buttoned up, no less).  For sure, my tum’s rounding out, but I’m just not as fat as I was the first time around.

Me at 11 weeks (I think).  Maggie ponders her own baby belly.

Of course, the fact that I puked a LOT more in my first trimester this time (and had food poisoning, and then had flu for 4 days!) may have something to do with the lack of weight gain.  🙂

Also unlike my pregnancy with Maggs, I don’t have any strong convictions about what sex this baby is.  I KNEW Maggie was a girl from the 6-week point on, but with Grabbels, I have no idea.  I’m leaning slightly toward boy, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s a girl, either.   I’m really getting excited for that 20-week scan to find out — only 4 or 5 weeks away!

Sweet dreams, little Grabbels — Mama loves you!



November 12, 2010

While rocking Maggie to sleep this evening:

Me: “I love you.”

Maggie: “I love . . . Maggie Rose.”

Six weeks, three days

October 30, 2010

I saw the baby’s heartbeat on ultrasound today. Glory hallelujah!

I am also sick as a fucking DOG. Sick, sick sick. I basically laid flat on the floor until 1:30 p.m. today. I feel bad for Maggie, though — she was so bored! Lord, give me strength to get to the second trimester without losing it!