37 weeks + 1

June 1, 2011

Uncharted territory from here on out; I had Maggie at 37 weeks exactly, so this is all new to me!

I spent a good half hour at 4:45 this morning communing with my sweet boy – telling him how much I love him, and how much I want him to meet us on his own good time and on his terms.  I held my belly in my arms, feeling where his butt and feet were, and cradling him gently.  Soon he’ll be cradled in my arms — but not yet, not yet.

I had my 37 week appointment yesterday, and got a shock.  My midwife measured me at 44 cm — so once again, I’m measuring 7 weeks ahead, just like with Maggie.  It was a major increase from last week, when I measured just 3 weeks ahead.  So she sent me right away for another ultrasound, where the suspected diagnosis of polyhydramnios was confirmed.  I would have just brushed it off (yeah, duh, I know – I produce a lot of fluid) except that the midwife mentioned just WHY poly is a concern — if my water were to break, the force of so much fluid could wash the umbilical cord out of me, ahead of the baby.   A prolapsed cord is cause for calling 911 and an immediate c-section – no ifs ands or buts.  It’s an Emergency.

When she told me this, it put such fear into me that my teeth nearly chattered.  I know that it’s just a possible complication, not a foregone conclusion, but it scared me so much!   I did some research last night on poly and prolapsed cords, but eventually realized that there was nothing I could do about either, and that I should be putting my energy into thinking positively.  So I spent time visualizing the amount of fluid in my uterus going down…. visualizing a healthy birth that starts at home….. visualizing my beautiful baby boy being born with no complications, in an atmosphere full of love and absent fear.

I love you, sweetheart.  Be born when it’s YOUR time.

Mama

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