36 weeks, and nesting

May 26, 2011

So much to do!  Gotta buy Grabbels a baby book, and update all of Maggie’s photo albums, and and and and and…..

Except I’m the size of a house.  And very tired.

I feel like I’m running out of time very quickly.  At this point with Maggie, I only had 5 days of pregnancy left.  I doubt I will go that early with Grabby, but you never know.  I’m thinking he’ll be sometime between June 8 and June 15.  My nesting instinct and adrenaline has kicked in, and I’m filled with urgency to get things done.

I also suddenly feel tremendously heavy and draggy.  Granted, I gained 4 pounds in two weeks, but my pelvis is out of whack again, and my stomach is suddenly ENORMOUS.  At least my blood pressure has stayed totally normal and low, and I have had zero problems with swelling.  In fact, you can still see all the bones in my feet, and my ankles are svelte!  Quite a difference from this time two years ago with Maggs!

I had an ultrasound today to check his position (since the midwives haven’t been able to tell for sure) and also to check his size relative to dates.  To my considerable frustration, the ultrasound tech not only gave me a bit of a chastising tone about not having any ultrasounds done between week 20 and now (why on earth WOULD I get them done?  I’ve had an easy pregnancy!), but she also did a biofeedback test even though my midwife didn’t order one, AND showed Grabbels in 3D/4D (which initially I loved, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get — I wanted to see him for the first time when he was born, dammit, and this tech just totally ignored the fact that I may not have wanted her to show me those images), AND THEN had the audacity to tell me that I need weekly biofeedback tests now through the end of this pregnancy.  NO.  Just – NO.  He’s fine!  I’m fine!  Stop trying to railroad me into tests I don’t need, don’t want, and that make me feel like there’s something wrong, when NOTHING IS WRONG.  Now my insurance company will be charged for tests that nobody ordered, and eventually the cost will show up in my premiums.

The healthcare system – particularly the maternal care system – is so fucked up.  No wonder we have women getting unnecessary c-sections — you put fear into them by treating them like they’re ill or that their babies aren’t okay, when in truth, everything is totally fine.  Those seeds of doubt are sinister seeds indeed, because when a woman doesn’t trust her body, it becomes very hard to let go and just give birth.

Grrr.

All that being said — damn, Grabby has some squishy cheeks.  I can’t wait to snuggle him!  🙂

MAMA!

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