Archive for March, 2009

Not an out of office, exactly

March 30, 2009

“Thank you for your message.

Unfortunately, I am out of brain at present, and will not be processing any non-pregnancy or baby-related data until I am no longer carrying my little passenger. I anticipate that this will occur sometime in the next 10 to 12 weeks; however, please be advised that there is the strong possibility that I will remain out of brain for the next 6 months to 18 years. If your matter is urgent or requires coherent thought, I suggest you contact one of my non-pregnant colleagues.

Please feel free to leave me a message, and I will respond as soon as I am able to string two brain cells together. Thank you.”


30 WEEKS! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

March 26, 2009

The end is finally in sight. Being in weeks starting with “30” versus “20” just feels sooo good.



Ohhhh, my sweet girl. I SO cannot wait to meet you and hold you in my arms! I know you can’t speak or understand English yet — nor, for that matter, do you have the slightest self-awareness — but I feel like I have glimpses into your spunky little personality already. You roll around in my tum with such glee, flinging limbs around with joyful abandon. When I put my hand on my tum, you reach out and kick that very spot. It feels like you’re saying hello. Very soon, you will be here and Daddy and I will both be able to devour every sweet detail of you — the little toes that you use to tickle my ribs with, the little fingers that you strum against my cervix and my hipbones, the sweet tum that thumps against my skin when you have the hiccups — but for now, you’re all mine, and I love you so much.

with love,
your mama

I want to marry my physical therapist

March 25, 2009

And if I weren’t already married to my awesome husband, I’d marry him all over again, too. 🙂

I went to my amazing, WONDERFUL physical therapist this morning to get help with the horrid pelvic pain I’ve been having. Matt, bless his heart, came with me, in the hopes that he could learn some techniques from her to help me out at home.

When I walked in her door, I was limping and swaying from side to side like a drunken sailor. Within a few minutes, she had identified a large part of my problem – that my pelvis had gotten completely out of whack and my sacrum was misaligned. With just a bit of massage and stretching, my pelvis was realigned and my pain released. She taught Matt how do to the massages and movements (similar to some of the stuff we’ve learned in Lamaze, actually), and together, they worked my pain away.

When I finally stood up and walked around, I burst into tears of relief. Oh my God, I could WALK again! Like a NORMAL PERSON! The pain was a fraction of what it had been before, and I was able to move in ways that I haven’t moved in months. Even though I knew my PT was amazing, I could NOT believe the amount of improvement in such a short time.

When Matt and I walked out of the office (me with a gigantic smile on my face – ahhhh, relief!!), I could feel the tension and pain leach out of my body. And for the first time in a couple of months, I felt light of spirit and even of body. What a difference it makes to not be in pain! The black cloud over my head lifted, and I was filled with hope — that I will be able to truly enjoy these last few weeks of my pregnancy with our Biskit, without suffering, without pain, and with joy in my heart.

PS – Edited at 2:40 p.m. to add – WHOA BABY!!!! Biskit just dropped like a load of rocks! I bent over to do something and felt her slither waaaaay down into my pelvis. It felt SO wild and weird. I guess the end really is in sight!

Pregnancy sucks and I hate it.

March 24, 2009

I love my Biskit, I love feeling her move and gambol about, and I cannot wait to meet her.



I have a strong suspicion that I have symphisis pubis dysfunction. I’ve been walking like a cripple for weeks now, and complaining about horrid pain in my pelvis for at least two months. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t turn over in bed without experiencing major, shattering-type pain in my pelvis and legs; can’t stand up to put my pants on (must sit down); can barely shave my legs because shaving requires standing on one foot; can’t sit or stand or do almost anything comfortably. IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS.

I wish I could feel more positive about being pregnant, but it’s damn hard when I’m in pain all the time. And then people make smartass comments about how I’m waddling or MUST be pregnant with twins, obviously, because I’m so big, and it’s all I can do to keep from snapping their heads off and tossing them in the gutter. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE PREGNANT LADY.

I wish I were done already. I want to MEET Biskit and stop hauling her around inside my poor, broken pelvis.

29 weeks

March 19, 2009

Blah blah blah blah feeling big and creaky and achy and BLAH.


Yes, a naked belly pic. Probably the only one you will ever see of me. You can’t see the stretch marks in this picture, but trust me – they are there.


It might just be me, but — I don’t feel like my tum has gotten much bigger in the last couple of weeks. It could be because gravity has finally taken control and pulled Biskit down so I’m not carrying quite so high anymore, but it DOES seem kind of weird to me that I don’t look much different than I did two weeks ago.


That being said, I’m still plenty big, obviously.


Matt and I attended our first lamaze class on Tuesday night. It was — interesting. I was kind of amazed by how much a lot of the moms in the room DIDN’T know about birth or their own bodies, for that matter (Actual question – “What’s a kegel? I’ve never heard of that.”). The instructor was weird, but in a way that I didn’t expect. I figured we’d end up with someone all Earth-mothery who’d smell like patchouli and encourage us to get in touch with our inner goddess or some shit – instead, we got a woman who was extremely cool, dry and remote. She didn’t seem to have much of a sense of humor either, which is unfathomable to me because HELLO, pregnancy is pretty damn ridiculous a lot of the time.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. I’m tired and my pelvis hurts and BLAH — but I love my little Biskit so. Best part of my day, every day — lying in bed in the morning or at night, feeling her leap around inside of me. I cuddle my tum and hope she knows that I am holding her close, and that I can’t wait to hold her in my arms for real.


Dancing with my daughter

March 17, 2009

I was in a show last Friday night, and was really amazed by how warm and enthusiastic the response was to the pregnant bellydancer.

(Although, who am I kidding — they were TOTALLY cheering for Biskit. :))

God, it felt good to dance with my sweet baby girl.

28 Weeks

March 12, 2009

So, it turns out that my rib cage pain isn’t just the result of growing pains — Biskit has given me gallstones. Yay! So I’m on a strict low-fat, bland diet from now until she’s born. No more cheese/pizza/cookies/spicy food. I bet you can imagine how I feel about THAT.


The good news is that, thus far, the new diet does seem to be helping the pain. I also feel less miserable in general (see: A Whiny Post).

Aside from the gallstones, I’ve been having SO much fun lately convincing my hipbones to work together. Every morning, it takes me a few minutes to get out of bed because apparently my hipbones fight overnight and are no longer speaking to each other by morning. Come on, guys! WORK with me here. I can’t make emergency runs to the bathroom without you.

Speaking of bathroom runs, I believe Biskit is finally messing with my bladder. I’ve been carrying so high that my pregnancy related issues tend to be more in the upper end of my torso than the lower, but she’s decided that sitting on my bladder is FUN. So much fun! Also fun — kicking my cervix (as she is doing right this second). What a delight you are, little baby!


At my doctor’s appointment yesterday, I was told I am measuring two weeks ahead of schedule, so 30 weeks instead of 28. This revelation shocks exactly NO ONE who has seen me lately.


As we were watching TV last night, Matt turned to me and said, “I just want you to know that I’m not letting Biskit out of my sight from the minute she’s born until we leave the hospital. I’ve heard all about those stories of hospitals switching babies, and there’s NO WAY that we’re gonna get someone else’s troglodyte baby while someone else gets our AWESOME baby with our AMAZING genes!”

Heh. Troglodyte babies.


Lamaze starts next week. Holy crap! We’re really having a baby up in this piece!

A whiny post

March 9, 2009

I’m only 27 weeks, but I am SO done.

I’ve gained 40 pounds and feel like a beluga whale. I am carrying BIG.

My pelvic bones feel like they’re in separate zip codes, and they HURT. Crossing my legs is impossible.

I’ve got cankles from swelling, and my feet are fat and icky. I can’t reach my toes anymore to give myself a pedicure, but I can’t afford to get one either!! Damn economy.

My ribcage is killing me. Biskit is forcing my ribs apart.


I can’t sleep.

I have stretch marks from my belly button all the way to my knees.

I want to be able to treat myself — to a nice dinner out, or a movie — but our budget is extremely tight right now and it’s out of the question.

I have stuff I MUST get done for work, but I can’t concentrate worth crap. All I want to do is stay at home, sleep and prepare for Biskit.

My stomach is stretching so fast that my skin is insanely itchy and also red most of the time. It feels like my daughter might just pop out of my skin at any time.


I know I’m whining, but I feel like throwing a temper tantrum most days! Half the time I’m ready to cry by 9:30 in the morning, because I just feel so miserable. I had no idea that pregnancy would be this hard on my body. I really didn’t. I’m absolutely thrilled about Biskit and I can’t wait to meet her and be a mom — it’s the pregnancy part that I’m sick of!

27 weeks – third trimester, ahoy!

March 5, 2009

First, the “official” weekly photo (since yesterday’s fell just shy of the 27 week mark):



(Also shown — VPL. Normally this would make me CRAZY, but let’s get real, here — ain’t no way I’m wearing a thong at this point.)

Things you may not know about Biskit:

1. She falls asleep in the car when I’m driving, every single time. She might be the ONLY person in the history of ever to be lulled to sleep by my driving.

2. Other things which put her to sleep — any music with heavy drum & bass and/or guitar. She finds Led Zeppelin, Skynard, and Prince all equally soothing.

3. She perks right up when Daddy plays his guitar, though. 🙂

4. She really enjoys doing this weird thing in my tum that feels for all the world like a bird frantically flapping its wings. I have NO idea how she does this. Maybe she’s actually trying to fly.

5. She has kicked Mike Jones in the head. I was lying in bed the other day, and Mikey had his head snuggled up next to my tum when lo, Biskit gave a mighty WHAP! to my side. And Mikey’s eyes FLEW open, for she had aimed her wee foot right at his jaw. I can only imagine the fun those two are going to have together someday.


It’s not quite 11 a.m. yet, and I am already in dire need of a nap and food — probably not in that order. These days, I feel stuffed and starving simultaneously, thanks to my new teaspoon-sized stomach. It’s very weird to feel your stomach growling even as you think, “God, I’m SO FULL.”


Third trimester. The home stretch — it is in sight, and thank God for that. Being pregnant has been fun and all – and I certainly love lying in bed, feeling my sweet baby kick – but I’m really ready to be done. It feels like it’s been Christmas Eve for six months now, and I’m ready for Santa to bring my present already!



March 5, 2009

I started to have a weird pain this evening, and it’s been going on for a few hours now. Pain along my right side only – mostly localized underneath my lower right ribs, which feel bruised to the touch. But I’m also having a stitch like pain on my lower right side as well. Le Google is fairly unhelpful. Guess I’ll call my doctor tomorrow. Ouchie!