Sanity: Fail

October 19, 2008

Matt:  “I’m going to reorganize the dog’s toy bin.  It’s a mess and I hate it.”

Me:  “Okay.”

(Five minutes later)

Matt:  “Okay!  So lookhere — I moved all of Bones’s chew bones into this box, and the balls into this bag –”

Me (spotting the plastic goody bag, full of treats and tchotkes for first time mommies, that I had been given when I bought my Preggie Pops at Motherhood Maternity):  “But – NO!  That’s my Motherhood bag!!!  You can’t use that for the dog!!”

Matt:  “Are — are you serious?”

Me:  (Feeling weirdly emotional)  “I’m — I’m not sure.  Maybe I’m 30% serious?”

Matt:  “Baby.  It’s a PLASTIC BAG.  All the stuff that was in it is on the kitchen table.”

Me:  (Tears rapidly begin welling up) “But it’s – it’s my special motherhood bag.  It’s not for dogs!”

Matt:  “Oh my God.  You’re crying.”

Me:  “Oh my God!  I AM!!  I can’t believe I’m crying over a plastic bag.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  I can’t believe I’m crying!  I mean, my feelings are seriously hurt here.  But this is insane!!!”

Matt:  ” . . . . . . . ”

Me:  (Burying head under pillow so as to cry in private.)

Matt:  (Heads into kitchen, returning moments later)  “Here.  Will this make you feel better?”

(He hands me a baby bottle that was a free sample in the goody bag.)

Me:  “Oh man.  Yeah, I think it does, actually.”

(Proceeds to snuggle with baby bottle for the rest of the night.)


12 Responses to “Sanity: Fail”

  1. Matt Says:

    Yeah, I really didn’t know what to do with that. I mean, I understand I suppose being upset about losing your special motherhood bag to dog toys, except insofar as it was on par with a schwag bag you’d get from a booth at a pregnancy convention. And without handles. And the size of say a DVD. And covered in advertisements.

    I’m just glad I pulled off the bottle-swap before I lost a limb.

  2. asianpixie Says:

    Oh man…so much to look forward to.

  3. sparkles anon! Says:


    It was the weirdest sensation — I KNEW that my reaction was ridiculous, and yet I couldn’t help crying anyway! I’ve never felt such a weird divide between reason and emotion before. Pre-preg and preg brains both in the house!


    You have no idea. 😉

  4. CameliaSinensis Says:

    I understand.

  5. MKD Says:

    LOL. Wow, that totally was like a seen at our house. LOL.

  6. CameliaSinensis Says:

    MKD–I meant to ask you before, when you were talking about having it feel like your breasts had been beaten up–are you pregnant too?!?!?! 😀 😀 😀

  7. ChiaLynn Says:

    Holy shit, woman. Congratulations!

  8. Amy Says:

    Wow! Congtratulations!

    Our troupe is awaiting the arrival of Lyra’s daughterling (5 days until blast off). We can’t wait!

  9. AH!! i didn’t know you were pregnant!! Congratulations!!!!! I’m so very happy for you.

  10. Toya Says:

    This is so effing exciting!

  11. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    Thanks, guys!!! 😀

    We’re totally thrilled. 😀

  12. MKD Says:

    OMG! You’re pregnant?!?!?!?!

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