October 10, 2008

I had my first ultrasound yesterday, at six weeks.  Gestational sac, yolk sac, but no fetal pole seen.  I also measure five weeks, four days, rather than an even six weeks.  The ultrasound tech told me that it was totally normal for this stage of the pregnancy, but it sent me veering off into horrid emotional territory.  I keep seesawing between “everything’s fine” and “it’s all over.”

If I had real morning sickness at this point, I’d feel better about things.  Generally speaking, the sicker you are, the lower your chances of miscarriage.  I’ve had nausea here and there, but nothing like the real morning sickness that leaves you curled up on the bathroom floor.  I know it’s weird to say that I’d feel SO much better if only I felt wretched, but it’s true.

That being said, my boobs are still sore, I’m still short of breath, and I’m starting to get some of that sensitivity to smell that my sister told me about.  Small things to peg my hopes on, but I’m desperate for something to give me hope.

I’m having blood drawn today to test my Hcg levels, and I’m going to have another ultrasound next Thursday.  I pray God that the next one shows me a fetal pole and a wee little beating heart.  In the meantime, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for some good old fashioned retching.

Six weeks, one day.


5 Responses to “Well.”

  1. CameliaSinensis Says:

    I don’t know if it will make you feel any better, but I never really felt that sick. And never vomited, or even came near to.

  2. asianpixie Says:

    That’s weird that your HCG levels weren’t tested before or with your ultrasound. I will keep my fingers crossed for good results!

    Normally, I wouldn’t wish puking on anyone because of the horrid nature it is to me. But I guess in this case, I hope you puke! That will help you ease your worrying.

  3. sparkles anon! Says:

    Camelia, that DOES make me feel better, actually. It seems like you had a textbook easy pregnancy with a great result (‘Rence FTW!) so I appreciate you saying that.

    AP — These doctors suck, frankly. I don’t like them at all, but they almost seem like the only game in town! It’s nuts.

  4. Matt Says:

    The best thing to base your hope upon is this:

    EVERY single one of your ancestors – every last one – was successful in delivering children. All of your genetic makeup comes from thousands and thousands of successful reproduction events. Every single one of mine, as well, stretching back to the protozoic slime.

    They’ve given birth in mud pits and caves; on splintered wooden tables and jagged rocks. They’ve successful borne children eating garbage and dirt.

  5. MKD Says:

    I hope you get really sick tomorrow morning.

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