3 Months

Congratulations, Maggie! You’re officially out of the “fourth trimester.”

You are changing faster than I can believe. Just last week, you giggled for the first time while awake (you’ve been laughing in your sleep for a while now!).  You’ve also started sitting up, assisted by the Bumbo and the Boppy, and crane your neck to try to sit up on your own when I’m holding you.  You also (just tonight!) rolled for the first time from your back to your front — and then, just to show off, you rolled from your back to your front to your back again!

In the last week or so, we’ve really started to see some of your spunky little personality come out. You HATE going to sleep, because you’re so enamored of the world that you don’t want to miss a second of it (I’ve tried telling you that the world stops when you close your eyes, but you refuse to believe me). You make the most amazing and hilarious sounds of mourning and sorrow when I try to rock you to sleep — you are tired, but try so hard to fight it off, because you just KNOW that something amazing and wonderful will transpire while you’re asleep, and you will miss out on ALL THE FUN.

Your favorite “toy” is a long blue ribbon that I tied to a fan in our bedroom, which bounces and whips around in the breeze. You could watch the ribbon for HOURS. You smile at the ribbon in the morning, and coo at it while I make the bed.  How amazing and awesome the world must seem to you!

It’s all out there, kiddo, waiting for you to discover it.

MAMA!

Possibly my favorite photo, ever.

So in love with my husband, and this amazing child we made.

- MAMA!

AHHHHH!

Maggie just giggled! BEST SOUND I’VE EVER HEARD.

Every pound I gained, every twinge of pain I had, every stretch mark I developed, every dollar of income I gave up to stay home, was worth it for this moment.

So in love with my kiddo!

11 and a half weeks

The best expression I have heard describing parenthood is this – “having a child means forever after wearing your heart on the outside of your body.” It’s true, in ways both agonizing and wonderful. I had to turn off Law & Order the other day when the plot line centered around a woman being kidnapped and kept away from her infant daughter. The thought of ever being separated from Maggie like that made it hard for me to even breathe. Likewise, an episode of Torchwood (plot arc – children kidnapped from their parents by the government and turned over to evil aliens) affected me the same way. The idea of anybody ever trying to hurt my precious daughter instantly brings out the killer instinct in me — I’d rip the throat out of anyone who threatened her well-being.

I’m sure that part of my feeling is based on her fragility. She’s so utterly and preciously vulnerable right now. The sight of her little neck and sweet fuzzy head has brought tears to my eyes more than once – she is just so innocent and whole right now — untouched by any of the myriad painful experiences that all of us have once we get out in the world. I want to protect that sweetness and innocence as long as I possibly can.

She is so infinitely precious to me.

- Mama