Sanity: Fail

Matt:  “I’m going to reorganize the dog’s toy bin.  It’s a mess and I hate it.”

Me:  “Okay.”

(Five minutes later)

Matt:  “Okay!  So lookhere — I moved all of Bones’s chew bones into this box, and the balls into this bag –”

Me (spotting the plastic goody bag, full of treats and tchotkes for first time mommies, that I had been given when I bought my Preggie Pops at Motherhood Maternity):  “But – NO!  That’s my Motherhood bag!!!  You can’t use that for the dog!!”

Matt:  “Are — are you serious?”

Me:  (Feeling weirdly emotional)  “I’m — I’m not sure.  Maybe I’m 30% serious?”

Matt:  “Baby.  It’s a PLASTIC BAG.  All the stuff that was in it is on the kitchen table.”

Me:  (Tears rapidly begin welling up) “But it’s – it’s my special motherhood bag.  It’s not for dogs!”

Matt:  “Oh my God.  You’re crying.”

Me:  “Oh my God!  I AM!!  I can’t believe I’m crying over a plastic bag.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  I can’t believe I’m crying!  I mean, my feelings are seriously hurt here.  But this is insane!!!”

Matt:  ” . . . . . . . “

Me:  (Burying head under pillow so as to cry in private.)

Matt:  (Heads into kitchen, returning moments later)  “Here.  Will this make you feel better?”

(He hands me a baby bottle that was a free sample in the goody bag.)

Me:  “Oh man.  Yeah, I think it does, actually.”

(Proceeds to snuggle with baby bottle for the rest of the night.)