still in shock!

I’m still stunned that the pregnancy tests were positive (yes, “tests” plural, because I took a second one just hours after the first, just to MAKE SURE that the first test wasn’t playing a joke on me). I felt so fucking proud when Matt came home last night. I was already in bed, snuggling with Bones and reading “Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy.” Matt leaned over and gave me about a million smooches, then put his head down near my stomach. “HEY! KICK, BABY! KICK!” I told him that we’re still about, ohhhh, five months away from that point.

Despite both of us being utterly exhausted, we were up past 11 just gabbling excitedly like two kids. Just, WOW! Wow wow wow wow wow!

As of last night, I have to add a new symptom on to the list that already includes pregnancy boobs, hormone-induced crying jags, fatigue and brief bouts of nausea — having to pee ALL THE TIME. I left work last night at 5:45 pm to head to class, and took a bathroom break just before I left. By the time I arrived at GU just a half hour later, I already had to pee again, URGENTLY. From what I hear, this only gets better!  Edited later to add:  Also, blood sugar plunging fairly regularly; when I’m hungry, now, I’m AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHG, SO FUCKING HUNGRY!!!  Also, experiencing the beginnings of cravings for meat.  WTF?  Definitely not me.  The baby must want that barbacoa burrito from Chipotle.

As of today, I’m almost five weeks along. Estimated due date: June 4, 2009.

I keep rubbing my tummy. Hello, baby!

I WAS RIGHT!!!!!

I knew it! I just freaking knew it! Hello, can I get some props for calling it FOUR FUCKING DAYS AFTER IT HAPPENED??

So I took about ten pregnancy tests in the last few weeks, even though I knew that it was way too early to show positive. I couldn’t help myself, though! I knew I was pregnant, and I was impatient for the tests to confirm it. That being said, though, this past weekend was the first time I was officially inside the window for testing, and . . . .  I couldn’t do it.  Just flat out couldn’t bring myself to do it.

When I talked to my girlfriend N this morning, though (who is also trying to get pregnant and knew that I was suspicious), she bugged me about it. I hemmed and hawed, and finally decided to go buy a test.  An hour later, I was standing in the bathroom stall at work, staring at this:

(Okay, that sort of looks like “pregnang,” but the word “not” isn’t on there, so we’re golden!)

I started scream whispering under my breath — Oh my God oh my God oh my God!!!! — and then grabbed my cell and called Matt. I know – I’m classy like that. I’m just lucky that none of my coworkers walked in while I was relating the news.

Oh, and then I called my sisters (yes, still in the bathroom). Telling someone else made it seem like it had to be real!

I took a test again about an hour ago, just to make sure that the first one wasn’t a fluke, and …. yep.

I’m officially knocked up.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

I think I’m pregnant, implausible though it may be, and I know exactly when it happened.  Matt and I happened to have sex exactly on the day I was ovulating, although it didn’t occur to me until later that I had been ovulating.

Within four days, my boobs swelled up and became enormously tender. They’ve remained that way ever since.

This past weekend (8 days after ovulation), I was so tired that I slept for sixteen hours on Saturday. I also felt nauseated.

It’ll be another week before I can test with any reasonable expectation of getting a result, but that hasn’t stopped me so far! I keep hoping that the test will be positive even though I know it’s WAAAAAY too early for it to do so.

I’m certain enough that I’m knocked up to cut way back on the caffeine and to stop taking some of my less-necessary medications, but not so certain as to stop drinking coffee entirely. Bleeb me — I REALLY have to have a level of certainty to cut back on coffee at all!

If I am pregnant, I would be due at the very end of May, 2009. (Okay, that’s heady to even type those words!)

Please, let it be so.